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The Jam Auction/Transcript
Note: This transcript does not record every action a character makes. It is specifically from the subtitles of the episode, with minor editing to showcase the exact dialogue that was uttered. Any visible line that is shown from typing indicates a scene transition. :(phone buzzes) Nick: (sighs) Dad, where have you been? You’ve missed our last three scheduled calls. I’m worried about you. Tony: Sorry. I-I got a lot going on in here. Nick: Well, I’ve got a lot going on out here. I’ve been trying to deal with it, but it’s been really hard. I needed to talk to you about it. Tony: Listen, I got some bad news. The frickin’ lawyer needs another installment. Nick: Oh. How much does he want? Tony: He needs 10,000, or he’s gonna drop my case. Nick: What? That’s not fair. We already paid him 5,000. Tony: I argued, but the guy, he’s, he’s burning through cash like crazy. Nick: I don’t understand. What’s all this money for? Tony: I don’t know, okay? And it doesn’t matter. But you need to get it to him by the end of the day tomorrow. Nick: How am I gonna get that kind of money by tomorrow? Tony: Get it from the Thompsons. Like last time. That’s always been the plan. Nick: I don’t want to keep stealing from them. They’re nice to me. I can’t— Tony: They’re not your family, Nicky! Okay, this is about getting justice for our family. Listen, I-I can’t talk anymore. So please, get me the money. Nick: But, Dad— Tony: You have to do this for me, Nick. Nick: Ah! ---- :(theme music playing) Liz: Hey, Nick. Good morning. Listen, I’ve got some bad news. Nick: (sarcastic) Awesome. Liz: We got tickets to Hamilton a long time ago, before you came to live with us. But here’s the thing. We only got four. Ed: We tried to get another ticket, but they were totally sold out. Liz: Yeah, so would you be really upset if we went without you? I mean, you’d have to be home alone all day. But afterwards we could bring you a pizza? Nick: When is this happening? Liz: Tomorrow. We have to leave by noon. Nick: Actually… That would work out great. I mean, I totally wanna be in the room where it happens. But I understand. You guys had a life before me. Go, have fun. Ed: You sure? Nick: Totally. I have a history midterm coming up. So I’ll spend the day at the library with my study group. ---- Nick: It’s an estate sale, everything must go. The couch is super high-end. I can’t let it go for less than 500. Great. But you have to be there tomorrow at 12:30, no earlier, no later. Hold on, let me get my other line. Hello. Yes, the dining room set is 1500, take it or leave it. Ma’am, that’s a real steal for teak. ---- Molly: What’s that? Your college rejection letter from the future? Jeremy: It’s from the Oregon State Department of Records. I sent them a request to pull Nick’s public file and it just came in the mail. Molly: Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? Jeremy: I know. Okay. Uh. I sent away for it before the thing with the phone and therapist. Molly: And when she punched you. Jeremy: I get it. Okay, I totally crossed the line. I don’t even blame her for hitting me. I feel terrible about the way I acted. Molly: Well, you sure don’t show it. You haven’t said a word to Nick all week. Jeremy: I didn’t know what to say. I mean, it’s not like you baking her cupcakes has made anything better. Besides, this isn’t all on me. You were interrogating her about that phone too. Molly: Thank God Mom and Dad never found out. I’m embarrassed about the way I treated her. She’s my best friend, and I let her down. But at least I’m trying to make it up to her. Jeremy: Okay, look. I’m throwing it away, unopened. Molly: Good. Liz: Listen, Dad and I have been talking, and we wanna have a little chat with you about Nick. Molly: We were just talking about Nick. Ed: Good. Because after that therapist came here, we’ve been doing a lotta soul-searching about Nick’s place in this family. Molly: And? Liz: Well, I know you and Dad have been all in on Nick since the beginning, but it’s taken me a lot longer to get there. But I can now say that, y’know, I’ve really grown to care for Nick. And as far as I’m concerned, she is a part of this family now. So I’m all in on Nick too. Jeremy, I know it’s been an emotional few days, but where are you on this? Jeremy: I’m coming around. Ed: That’s great to hear. The problem is, I’m not sure Nick knows we want her to stay. Liz: Yeah, she still hasn’t unpacked her things. Molly: I made space for her. Ed: I know. We need to work harder. Liz: Yeah, we need to come together as a family to prove to her we want her here. Can we all do that? And then it’s up to Nick to decide. ---- Nick: I have you down for the washer-dryer. Be here at 12:30 on the dot and I’m giving a three percent discount for being punctual. :(knocks on door) Jeremy: (laughing) Hey. Nick: Hey, what’s up? Jeremy: So, listen, uh… I was thinking, do you wanna grab a boba? My treat. Nick: Why would I wanna grab a boba with you? Jeremy: Yeah, I-I don’t blame you. Uh, look, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about… over boba. Nick: You’re not going to the play? Jeremy: No, no, we’re going. Nick: Oh, good. I mean, because I would’ve thought seeing Hamilton is like a dream come true for you. Jeremy: Well, yes, it does dramatize one of my favorite moments in history, the founding of the National Bank. Nick: So then do we even have time? Didn’t Ed say you had to be out by noon? “Not a minute later.” Jeremy: Well, yes, but we still have, like, an hour. Nick: I have plans to go meet my study group later. Jeremy: Well, great. Then we both have time now. Come on. I just want to talk. Nick: Okay, fine. Let’s grab a boba. ---- Nick: It’s getting close to noon. You wanna head back? Jeremy: I’m not done with my boba. Nick: Dude, what are we doing here? Jeremy: Sorry. Look, I’m not very good at admitting when I’m wrong. Nick: (sarcastic) Really? I had no idea. Jeremy: Okay, I deserve that. I just wanna say that I’m sorry about the other night. I’ve never considered what you’ve been through and I had no right to violate your privacy. Nick: Yeah, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Jeremy: I know it must have been difficult to have me on your case constantly questioning you. I am really sorry. Nick: Okay. I get it. Apology accepted. Can we go home now? Jeremy: Not yet. Er… I just wanna say that you’ve done a lot for me. For all of us. I wanna thank you. Nick: Aww… okay, let’s go. Jeremy: One more thing. I just want you to know that I’ve made a decision to accept you and welcome you. And I’m hoping that you’ll give us a chance to start over again? What do you say? Can we start over again? With a clean slate. Nick: Hi. I’m Nick. Jeremy: Jeremy. Nick: Nice to meet you. Now let’s get out of here. Boba is super gross. Jeremy: Sorry about that. I totally thought it was something else. ---- Nick: I’m glad we did this. Jeremy: Me too. Nick: And I’m sorry for hitting you. Jeremy: Clean slate, remember? Nick: Now, let’s get you off to that play. Yeah? (giggles) All: Surprise! Nick: Oh, ff… fun. Becky: You shoulda seen your face. Xuan: It looked just like the surprised emoji. Tamika: Oh, we got you good. Nick: So good. How did you all know today was my birthday? Ed: That social worker Sam told us. Nick: Of course he did. Molly: We knew it was your birthday all along. Nick: So there’s no play? Liz: Oh, there was a play, and we did have four tickets. But once we found out it was your birthday, we knew we couldn’t leave you all alone. Jeremy: We sold the tickets and used the play as a cover story. Ed: And that’s what they call a con. Nick: Wow. I’m, I’m floored. You shouldn’t have. No, seriously, you shouldn’t have. Liz: Surprise parties are kind of my thing. Nick: Amazing. But this is all just a bit overwhelming. Would you mind if I stepped outside for a minute just to collect my thoughts? Liz: Oh, yeah, no problem. Take all the time you need. :(Liz laughs) :(Nick laughs) Liz: Why are you back so early? Did you not get my text? Jeremy: She wanted to get home. What was I supposed to do? Liz: Okay, listen up, people. We’ve got a situation on our hands. Nick’s big present isn’t here yet. So, we need to distract her and keep her away from the door at all costs. Surprise parties are my thing, and we are going to surprise the hell out of her! Nick: Sale is canceled. Do not approach the house. Family has… smallpox. Craig’s List Buyer #1: You Nick? I’m here for the couch. Nick: The sale is off. Craig’s List Buyer #1: You can’t cancel the sale. You said there was a discount for being punctual. Nick: A monkey pooped on the couch. Now buzz off before I call the cops. Liz: All good? Nick: So good. Liz: Good, good. Molly: Come with me, birthday girl. Yay, let’s go. Liz: So I was gonna make lobster Sambuca over fettuccine. Ed: But I convinced her to just get gas-station pizza the way you like it. Liz: Cold and bad. :(doorbell rings) Nick: I’ll get it! Liz: I’m on it! Nick: I can get the door. Liz: No, I’m on it. Nick: Answering the door is my chore. Liz: Oh, but it’s your birthday. Nick: Whatever it is, you probably have the wrong house. Liz: If you have something to give us, let’s be discreet about it. Randy: What are you talking about? Liz/Nick: The thing. Randy: I’m here for the Hamilton tickets. Liz/Nick: Oh. Ed: Oh, you must be Randy. I just got your payment. Here are the tickets. Enjoy the show. Randy: Thanks, man. Liz: Who did you think it was? Nick: Who did you think it was? Ed: Is it cake time? Liz: Yes! Come on. :(both giggle) Liz: Nick’s present is gonna be here any minute, okay. We cannot let her near that door again! Spread the word, physical restraint is authorized. ---- ♪ …day to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday dear Nick ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ :(clapping) :(cheers) Ed: Make a wish. :(doorbell rings) Nick: I’ll get it! Liz: No, I’ll get it! Becky: Uh, Nick, relax. Nick: I just need to get the door. Xuan: And I just need a hug. Tamika: I want some of that! Molly: Not just one birthday hug! :(cheers) Nick: Who was it? Liz: Some kids selling magazines. Were you expecting someone? Nick: Actually, the study group was gonna come pick me up. I should just call to cancel. Liz: Oh, that is considerate of you. But, um, you know, why don’t you use Ed’s office so you can have some privacy? Nick: Oh, thank you. Liz: Okay, go ahead. Okay, she’s in your office. Hurry, hurry! Get it up into the room. Ed: Why did you send them back here? Liz: I panicked! Ed: I don’t think all this stuff is gonna fit up the stairs! Liz: Think less, do more! Becky: This was a terrible idea. Nick: Strickland, Strickland… Assistant: Law offices of Walter Strickland. Nick: Hi, um… This is Nick Franzelli. I was supposed to get a payment to Mr. Strickland for my father’s case. And… But there’s been a mix-up, and I was wondering if I could get an extension? Assistant: What case is this for? Nick: Uh, my, my dad. Tony Franzelli. Assistant: I’d have to look it up, but I’m sure you’re fine. Mr. Strickland is very lenient with legal fees. It’s the nature of criminal defense work. Nick: (quiet gasps) Oh, my God, really? (sighs) That would be amazing. Because… honestly… I can’t keep doing this anymore. (sobbing) It’s too hard. I just want a moment to breathe. Assistant: Okay, honey, it’s all right. I’m sure it’ll all work out. You know, we even have an installment plan if you need it. Nick: (gasps) So I don’t have to get it to you all at once? Assistant: No, it’s fine. Once I find your file, I’ll make a note. Nick: (sighs) Thank you. Thank you. You don’t know what a relief that is. (sighs) (laughs) What’s… what’s going on? Liz: Uh, the door is stuck. We’re working on it. Just don’t go anywhere. Hurry! Molly: Push! Ed: Pull! Molly: Just cram it up there! Ed: I told you it wouldn’t fit. Becky: Bend it like a taco! :(groans) Tamika: Not like a hot dog! Like a taco! Jeremy: I’m getting crushed! Molly: Knock it off! Xuan: Maybe she can just sleep here. Becky: I told you this was a terrible idea. :(doorbell rings) Liz: Wait, who’s that? Go check the door. Ed: Uh, do your best. :(Jeremy groans) Molly: Go, go, go! Nick: I don’t know what you’re talking about, bro. We’re not selling anything. Ed: What in the world’s going on out here? Craig’s List Buyer #2: You listed an estate sale on Craigslist. Ed: What? Nick: I-I don’t know what he’s talking about. Craig’s List Buyer #2: This is 419 LeGuin Avenue? I… I can show you the listing. Nick: It must be a prank. Craig’s List Buyer #2: Hey. I promised my mom that dining room set, and I’m not leaving without it. Ed: Whoa, get out of my house, or I’ll call the cops. Craig’s List Buyer #2: Go ahead and call the cops. ‘Cause you’re the one they’re gonna arrest, for fraud. Whoa! Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow! Ed: You just got educated. ‘Cause my name is Ed. Craig’s List Buyer #2: Oh, man! Ow! Oh! :(door bangs) Molly: Wow. That guy was crazy. Ed: I knew that self-defense training would pay off. Titanium package, totally worth it. Liz: Okay, I don’t know what all that was about. But why don’t you guys go upstairs and help the girls get Nick’s presents ready. Nick: You got me presents? You didn’t have to do that. Liz: Don’t be silly. Come sit with me. Nick: This has been a great day for me. Thank you. Liz: It’s not over yet. You know, we’re really trying to make it perfect. Nick: I know. Liz: You know, we may not always show it but… I need you to know that we want you here. And you are welcome to stay as long as you’re happy. Nick: I appreciate that. I do. Ed: We’re ready! Liz: Okay, time for presents. Nick: What’s this? Liz: Something we should have done a long time ago. Nick: It’s the same as Molly’s bed. Liz: Yeah, I even found the same comforter. Nick: Thank you. Molly: Here, open mine. Nick: (laughs) (gasps) (laughing) I love it! Molly: It’s from Rocky and Bullwinkle. It’s her thing. (laughs) Nick: Thank you. Jeremy: My turn. Nick: (laughs) What’s this? Jeremy: It’s a personal safe. You can put anything you want in there. I mean, your allowance, secret phones, ninja weapons, whatever you want. Because I want you to feel safe in this house. Nick: (laughs) Thank you. (laughs) Ed: And this one is from me. Nick: It’s the cake. Ed: Yeah. White frosting with little pink flowers. Just like the one your dad brought home the day he got the loan for his business. Nick: You remembered that? Ed: Of course. I’ve been working on it a long time. I used all the paper from the file you brought with you your first day. Jeremy: Ha! Well, that’s where those papers went. Ed: It’s symbolic. Nick: Thank you. I haven’t had a birthday like this in a long time. Maybe ever. Molly: Now, who’s ready to party? All: Yeah! ♪ Well we rushed it ♪ ♪ Moving way too fast ♪ ♪ That we crushed it ♪ ♪ But it’s in the past ♪ ♪ We can make this leap ♪ ♪ Through the curtains of the waterfall ♪ ♪ So say Geronimo ♪ ♪ Say Geronimo ♪ ♪ Say Geronimo ♪ ♪ Say Geronimo ♪ ♪ Say Geronimo ♪ ♪ Say Geronimo ♪ ♪ Say Geronimo ♪ ♪ Can you feel ♪ ♪ My love? ♪ ♪ Bombs away ♪ ♪ Bombs away ♪ ♪ Bombs away ♪ ♪ Can you feel ♪ ♪ My love? ♪ ---- Nick: Ha! I’m gonna be sick. Molly: I know. :(Nick laughs) Molly: But I can’t stop eating it. Jeremy: Mom does make a good cake. Nick: So… everything you said at boba… that was just to get me out of the house for the surprise? Jeremy: Not just. I meant it. Nick: Cool. This… this was a great birthday. (Nick laughs) Jeremy: I’mma head up to bed. Happy birthday, Nick. Molly: I’m gonna get ready for bed too. Nick: I’ll put the cake away. Meet you upstairs. Can’t wait to try out my new bed. (giggles) :(phone buzzes) Nick: (sighs) Dad, I’m so glad you called. I had the best day. Tony: Where’s the money, Nicky? The lawyer says he never got it. Nick: I-I couldn’t get it, but don’t worry. I called Mr. Strickland’s office, and they gave us an extension. Tony: You… you talked to the lawyer? Nick: Well, the assistant, but she said they’re not that strict, and they even have an installment plan. Tony: (sighs) Okay. Just forget it. Nick: W-what’s wrong? What are you not telling me? Tony: Nothing. I-i-it’s all good. Look, I gotta go. Nick: What’s going on? You’re scaring me. Tony: It’s totally fine. Don’t worry about anything. Just… always remember that I love you. Oh, and happy birthday, Nicky. Nick: Dad? Are you still there? Dorothy, it’s me. I-I need a ride. I know it’s late, but it’s important. ---- Nick: Dad. Dad! Oh, my God! Tony: Ow! It’s okay. I’m okay. Nick: What happened to you? Tony: I missed the payment. Nick: But… But I called the… Wait. Lawyers don’t beat people up for being late on a payment. Tony: There is no lawyer. Nick: What? Tony: I lied. There is no lawyer. There… There never was… any lawyer. Nick: But I met him. I gave him the money. Tony: No. That was just a guy who works for the people that I owe the money to. Nick: What people? Tony: You don’t wanna know. Nick: So all these scams… all the money, this whole plan… It was never about getting you out of jail. It’s all been going to them the whole time? Tony: I’m so sorry that I lied. I was trying to protect you. Nick: (crying) How is this supposed to protect me? Tony: I’m sorry. Nick: (sobs) (sobs) So you’re not coming home… any time soon? Tony: No, I guess not. Nick: (sighs) And if you don’t pay them back? (Nick sniffs) Tony: I might never be coming home. :(sobbing) :(playing Maria Taylor: “Song Beneath the Song”) ♪ Cryptic words meander ♪ ♪ Now there is a song beneath the song ♪ ♪ One day you’ll learn ♪ ♪ You’ll soon discern its true meaning ♪ ♪ An interesting detachment ♪ ♪ A listless poem of love sincere ♪ ♪ '' Desire, despair'' ♪ ♪ Overlapping melodies ♪ ♪ And it’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love song ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love song ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love song ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love song ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love song ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love song ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love song ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love song ♪ ♪ It’s not a love, it’s not a love ♪ ♪ It’s not a love song ♪ ---- Liz: Jeremy, what is this? Jeremy: Where did you get that? Liz: In the trash. It’s from the State of Oregon, and it’s addressed to you. Jeremy: (sighs) I sent a request to get Nick’s public record pulled. Liz: What is wrong with you? Jeremy: I know. Okay, that’s, that’s why I threw it out. What are you doing? Liz: Proving to you once and for all that Nick is who she says she is. Jeremy: Oh. Thank God. She really is a foster kid. And her name really is Nicole Patterson. I guess she was telling the truth. Liz: What were you expecting? Jeremy: I don’t know. Never mind. Liz: Wait, this is the wrong Nicole Patterson. Jeremy: They said she’s the only Nicole Patterson in the system. Liz: But look. If this is Nicole Patterson… then who the hell is living with us? Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Transcripts